No Comment
by Phantom Ice-Cream
Summary: With Starscream in a bad mood it doesn't help that the press are coming after him too... Redone


_Disclaimer: I definitely don't own this lot apart from the camera bot, Evil Interlocutor and the barman otherwise I'd be making millions. (smiles dreamily). _

_This being my first fic I would welcome criticism of any kind. I couldn't get Interlocutor out of my head she bugged me all night about writing this fic. It's quietened her down, for now. So on that note I would just like to say… she made me do it! (points accusingly at Interlocutor releasing a cage full of bunnies)_

_Interlocutor: (shrugs) You got to do what you got to do.

* * *

_

**No Comment**

Interlocutor stared down at the datapad full of information she had just been given. As she flicked through the pages Interlocutor sipped from the energon cube poised in her hand.

"Rubbish, rubbish, boring, covered…aha!" The trainee reporter cried triumphantly and looked further at a certain page with great care. "Talk to the crew about this." She highlighted the page and handed the pad to one of the many people rushing around her.

Meanwhile Starscream was in a seriously bad mood. Megatron had decided to use some 'anger therapy' i.e. shouting at the unfortunate bot about how he screwed up the last battle until he ran out of insults and dismissing him merely to gain more.

Then Demolisher and Cyclonus had the notion of setting Starscream up, putting him in some sticky situations. They had been looking in the Cybertron Times when they saw an ad.

_Fem bot, bright blue optics, blond or was until I got turned into a stunning pink and purple seeker. Sad and lonely, had a traumatic past and in need of some sympathy. Single and gorgeous, Starseeker._

As you can only imagine, Cyclonus and Demolisher couldn't resist. Starscream didn't even know there was a Cybertron Times, let alone a dating agency. Well, now he did.

* * *

As he skulked about he managed to avoid meeting someone unnecessarily and successfully reached his quarters. Starscream rushed inside and locked the door multiple times. He went over to recharge. As he was about to recharge he paused and checked the Sue's position, just in case.

The next day Starscream felt more, well…recharged and went under Megatron's orders to the weekly training session. Cyclonus, Demolisher and Tidal Wave were waiting. Just before they began a doorbell rang. The four looked at each other.

"Neat, I didn't know we had a doorbell!" Cyclonus exclaimed.

"Cyclonus, we don't even have a proper door," Demolisher replied.

"Who's going to answer it?" Starscream asked.

"You," the other three chorused.

"What! Why me?" Starscream asked sourly.

"'Cause you asked," Cyclonus explained badly.

"What? How does that work out?" Starscream argued.

"The unwritten rules," Cyclonus replied.

"Yes. We must honour the unwritten rules," Tidal Wave agreed.

So Starscream went off mumbling to himself, hoping to Primus this was not going to be like yesterday.

Reaching the **'**door' he saw a large camera pointing in his face with a group of bots behind it. Starscream was speechless, not sure why such people were at a Decepticon base rather than a star's house. Unless they wanted to get shot: of course he would oblige willingly…

"Ah hello, just the bot we were looking for. Starscream, isn't it?" a black and silver femme bot inquired, forcing herself in. " I'd like to ask you a few questions…"

"Wait a second - who are you, what are you doing here? And I never said you could come in!" a confused Starscream howled.

"Now what do you say to these rumours about you with this human, um, yes Alexis? Or you with Megatron?" The femme asked ignoring his questions.

Suddenly another unfortunately recognisable bot jumped in clinging to Starscream, the pink and purple bot squealed, "Mine! He's all mine! We've had some trouble but it's all right isn't it my love!"

"Get _off_! Go bug Tidal Wave or something!" Starscream cried trying frantically to scrape the possessed Sue off. When this failed he took out his sword.

"Shall I stop filming, 'Locutor?" The camera bot asked.

"No, no we can _use _this…" She replied.

Ironically rubble caused by all the flailing pinned down the Sue.

"I repeat: what about the rumours?"

"I've never heard such twisted nonsense," growled Starscream, brushing himself down.

"What about the thoughts of you two-timing?" inquired Interlocutor.

"I can't have done that the only relationship I could have had is with my sword!" Starscream scowled disdainfully.

"So you do admit you have a relationship with the superstar Firesword?" Interlocutor asked.

"What? Who's that?"

"And you _did_ at one point have an intimate relationship with Decepticon personnel?"

"What? No!"

"Furthermore, _you, _Starscream flirted your way out of prison, did you not?"

"What! How could you my love? I trusted you!" wept the seeker bot in the corner.

Interlocutor handed the bot a tissue, not that she needed it.

"Atmosphere," she whispered into the camera bot's audio.

"You are all deranged!" Starscream shouted over the commotion.

"I can get you into his quarters!" Swindle told the crew.

"Lead the way!" Interlocutor ordered.

"Oh no you don't," Starscream growled and picked up the minicon lifting him to his face. "You're not going anywhere."

Questions filled the air surrounded poor Starscream until a barrage of shots fired by Starscream caused the doorway to collapse. Starscream took this opportunity to scramble; he was on the run yet again. Blackout signalled for Starscream to come over and Starscream ran over to find Demolisher and Cyclonus crouched behind a large pile of rubble.

"'Starscream dearest'? I'm shocked!" Demolished said mockingly.

Starscream balled his fists and would have started a fight if the reporter had not climbed out of the rubble.

"We better go." Cyclonus pointed out.

For the rest of the week Starscream did what was now becoming a hobby, hiding.

Once it was finally confirmed that the reporter and co. had gone Starscream was immediately called up to the throne room. He was then thoroughly lectured about reporters and the press.

"Was it not in training?" Megatron asked loudly. "Did they not tell you about the parasitic press?"

"Megatron, Megatron! Can I quote you on that?" Interlocutor asked from the doorway, blocked by demolisher.

"Yes you may," Megatron replied. "Where was I? Oh yes, HOW DARE YOU COME INTO MY CREW WITHOUT KNOWING HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM!"

Megatron continued for a full turn of the moon. Bellowing non-stop, by that time the press really had gone.

Cyclonus kept acting out the encounter. Starscream did punch him a few times but Cyclonus continued. The scene came back to haunt him on the computer, TV and in magazines.

"…_So we went to this ladies bot to ask him a few questions,"_ Interlocutor said on the TV.

"_I've never heard such twisted nonsense!"_ growled the TV Starscream.

"_He denied everything and even discarded the other bot who we later found out to be his fiancé," _Interlocutor reported. _"Join us later as we ask Megatron himself about this mad bot._

"_He's always screwing things up, rubbish soldier," _Megatron told them. _"I've often wondered what he was doing on his days off."_

"_He gets days off?" _Interlocutor asked.

"_Not if I had it my way,"_ Megatron growled.

"_But you do have it your way," _Interlocutor told him.

"_That's why he doesn't get days off,"_ Megatron replied.

At one point Starscream picked up a magazine and studied the front cover. He did not hesitate to yell.

"SWINDLE!"

**Starscream, revealed.**

**S**windle gives us his amazing look at Starscream's real life. Pg. 4

Starscream avoided the doorway at all costs and pondered, if he couldn't help it, why he didn't just kill the Sue that had been taken away later in the week.

"Why couldn't I just kill that stupid Sue!" Starscream scowled brooding in the unofficial bar at the back of the base.

"That my friend is the fluff, the fuzz aura affected you deeply. 'Tis a cruel thing to do to any bot."

"Who the heck are you?" Starscream asked.

"The bartender," the small drone replied handing him a glass of energon.

"You're all just mindless drones," Starscream said all-knowingly.

"Nah, that just be the soldiers," it explained drying a glass.

* * *

Interlocutor reclined in her chair feeling highly pleased with herself. Turning to her camera bot she asked, "Did we show everyone how it's done?"

"Yup; we showed em'," he replied taking a sip of energon.

"And thus I graduate with flying colours!" Interlocutor sniggered also taking a large sip of energon.

_And so we end the crossing of the media with Starscream and a question hangs in the balance, will they be back?_

_Interlocutor: With me being your creation, definitely. _


End file.
